"I Was My Own Worst Enemy"

At 64 years old, Bill has lived many lives. An Air Force veteran, a husband and father, a manager, a provider, and now, a grandfather whose face lights up every time he shares a picture of his grandson.

But before arriving at City Mission, Bill found himself in a place he never imagined.

Born in Syracuse, New York, Bill grew up moving throughout the East Coast with his family. The second oldest of six children, he remembers his Catholic upbringing fondly. Church, chapel, Bible classes, and faith were steady parts of his childhood — something that would later become an anchor again in his life.

Bill is someone who always loves making people laugh and finding humor wherever he can. He is intelligent, and school came easily to him, but he admits he lacked the discipline he thought college required. Instead, he voluntarily enlisted in the United States Air Force — a decision he still calls one of the best he ever made.

In the Air Force, Bill trained in electronics and became a nuclear missile systems analyst. More importantly, military life taught him structure, discipline, and self-reliance.

“It allowed me to own myself,” Bill said. “It taught me how to become self-reliant.”

For many years, life looked successful from the outside. Bill built a career, got married, raised a family, and enjoyed the rewards of hard work. He had the house, the cars, even a boat. But over time, poor financial decisions, isolation, anxiety, depression, and alcohol use slowly unraveled the life he had built.

“The train went off the tracks, if you will,” he said quietly.

Eventually, Bill became estranged from his family and disconnected from himself. Though he maintained professional relationships, he felt deeply alone.

“I wasn’t who I should have been,” he reflected. “I was my own worst enemy.”

Before coming to City Mission, Bill was working as a manager at Walmart. Then came a three-day drinking binge that ended in the hospital, the loss of his job, and three weeks living out of his car during the middle of February.

The gas eventually ran out because Bill would wake up freezing in the night and start the car for a few minutes of heat. He had barely eaten. His mental and physical health were deteriorating.

Then one day, while at Shop ’n Save, Bill noticed information about City Mission’s veterans program with a phone number for Brad, City Mission’s Manager of Clinical Services.

Bill called.

“Brad was encouraging but not pushy,” Bill remembered. “He knew I had to come into the program on my own terms.”

At first, Bill stayed only a few nights in the emergency shelter. He even felt guilty using the resource. But deep down, he knew he needed help.

“I needed City Mission,” he said. “I had no direction. My mental and physical health were deteriorating. But I needed to be the one to make the decision to come here. That was the only way I was going to be successful.”

When Bill finally entered the program, something immediately felt familiar: structure.

After years of instability, the daily rhythm of life at City Mission reminded him of the discipline he had once learned in the military. During work therapy, he began each day with 7 a.m. devotions followed by work in the warehouse.

“I had something to do again,” he said. “A reason to get out of bed.”

As time passed, Bill’s confidence slowly returned. He was eventually asked to serve as a Resident Assistant in the veterans dorm. Because he had a vehicle, he also became one of the drivers, helping transport other residents to appointments and work.

“I felt better about myself,” Bill shared. “I was doing something for myself and for others. I was responsible for the people I was driving. It gave me more confidence in myself.”

Through City Mission’s Career Training and Education Center, Bill updated his resume and connected with staffing agencies. In October, he began working at PA Transformer Technology, where he now has a steady union job with health insurance and a reliable paycheck.

“I get to do something I’m pretty good at,” he said with a smile. “It made my outlook so much better. I’m not nearly as self-conscious anymore.”

Bill is quick to credit City Mission for helping him rebuild his life, but he’s equally honest about the work required on his part.

“If you work the program, the program will work for you,” he said. “I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.”

Perhaps the greatest gift of Bill’s transformation has been the restoration of his family relationships. Today, he has reconnected with his son and recently became a grandfather — a role he cherishes deeply.

Sharing a photo of his grandson, Bill beamed with pride and asked, “Isn’t he the most handsome guy you’ve ever seen?”

Now, instead of measuring life by material success, Bill sees what truly matters.

“I had all the material things before — the house, the boat,” he said. “But right now, with a relationship with my son and grandson, I have everything I need.”

That renewed sense of purpose drives him forward.

“I want to watch my grandson grow up. I want to be there for my family continually. I have that motivation now. I have self-worth now.”

After 14 months at City Mission, Bill says he feels healthier mentally, emotionally, and spiritually than he has in years. He is preparing to move into his own apartment and begin the next chapter of his life with confidence and hope.

“Coming to City Mission was one of the top three decisions I’ve made,” Bill said. “I know I will never be that low again.”

He pauses for a moment before adding:

“I feel very confident, hopeful, optimistic about my future. City Mission has been integral in that.”

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