City Mission Saved My Life

“It used to be every morning I would smoke a cigarette before I even got out of bed, before my feet touched the floor.  Today, I spend 30 minutes to an hour every morning praying and reading the Bible.  That has made the biggest difference for me.  Time alone with God is the most important part.  I pray in my car on the way to work.  I pray before I go to bed.” -- Stephanie

Not that long ago, Stephanie had a fiancée, a home, and a rewarding career as a Certified Nursing Assistant.  At work, she got to help people learn to eat again after surgery or walk again after an accident.  She even witnessed a person wake up for the first time after being in a coma for six months.  After work, she came home to a place she owned with a loving partner she trusted deeply, a man who had been her best friend since she was thirteen years old.  

When the young couple decided to start a family together, they experienced several miscarriages, which slowly led to the realization that they could not have children.  They were devastated.  It was a deep loss.  Their friends and everyone they talked with about it, told them, “Just don’t think about it.”

So they started going to parties—drinking and filling all their free time with fun and pleasure, so they wouldn’t have to dwell on the pain they were experiencing.  

“When I started partying,” she remembers, “Everything started feeling heavy.”

Eventually, their partying led to addiction.  Stephanie tried to stop many times, but she couldn’t.  She lost her job.  She and her fiancée began committing crimes to make money so they could keep their house.

“I made some very, very, very bad choices,” she says.  “I knew they were bad ideas, but he was the one actually doing it, so it was easy for me to just go along.  Until it started to get messy.”

It became a toxic relationship.

“We ended up screaming and yelling at each other.  It was not healthy,” Stephanie recalls.  “I loved him to death, but with all the stuff that happened between us, there was no going back.  Drugs change people.  They changed him.  He was no longer the person I fell in love with.  He was mean and judgmental.”

Stephanie got very depressed.  She was terrified to ride in a car or even go outside of the house.      

“I felt defeated, depleted, and disappointed.  I was scared all the time.”

Her fiancée was arrested, and she was left alone in the house.  It was then, she decided to get sober.  She detoxed alone in the house for a week.  

“What I went through alone in that house,” she says, “it started a whole new thing inside of me.  I wanted better for myself.  I deserved better.”

Then, she got arrested.  

She spent three months in jail.  After the first few weeks, the time she spent in jail was actually a relief compared to what she had been through.  

After her release from jail, she came to live at City Mission.  

When Stephanie moved into the Mission, Sally’s Sanctuary was still under construction, so she moved into our old women’s shelter, which only housed 14 women.  

“It was a cozy home,” she says.  “I was a little nervous.  I was afraid that I wasn’t going to fit in.  That there would be a lot of judgment.  I was picked on a lot growing up.  But City Mission was different.  Everyone was very open and welcoming.  They immediately made me feel like I fit in.  They listened.  They answered all my questions in a way that gave me comfort.  They created a plan.  They set goals for me.  They waited patiently, and they wanted the best for me.”

At the Mission, she slowly regained her confidence and began to see a better future for herself.  

“When I got here,” she remembers, “and got to hear all the women sharing their experiences, I could see similarities in my story.  It was ok that I went through what I went through.  It was ok to feel how I felt.  It was going to be ok.  That made a huge difference.”  

The structured and organized life at City Mission centered around the saving love of Christ was exactly what she needed to begin rebuilding her life.  

“Being here made me pick up good habits again and healthy routines that I had forgotten.  I had lost myself.  Being here reminded me what had made me successful and healthy in the past.”

All the time she was at the Mission, the excitement over Sally’s Sanctuary was building.  All of the staff and residents were looking forward to the day when they could all move in.  But also, Stephanie knew lots of women in recovery meetings across town who were waiting to get into the Mission.  They were living in difficult or dangerous situations, and they were waiting for the new shelter to open.

Stephanie remembers the day of the Grand Opening and being interviewed by the media and meeting so many donors who made it all possible.  She remembers moving into Sally’s Sanctuary on the first day as the first ever Resident Assistant.  She had her own room, and she was amazed at the size of Sally’s Sanctuary and all the living space.

“It was so exciting to move in.  And then the beds started filling up, and I was excited to meet new people.  And there were so many more women being helped.  And I got to see so many amazing things happen to them.  It was truly a blessing to watch them transform before my eyes.”  

A few months ago, Stephanie moved out of City Mission into her very own apartment.  Now, she has an apartment, a car, and a stable job.  And her future looks bright!

“I’m very grateful for the Mission.  Without the Mission, I wouldn’t be where I am today.  I wouldn’t be as strong as I am to stand on my own.  I wouldn’t know recovery like I do.  I wouldn’t have met the people who have helped me along the way.”  

You can help more women like Stephanie get their hope back.  Visit www.citymission.org to learn more.